Posted March 11, 2008
By tseigler

How’s this for surreal: within 72 hours I saw both Dave Eggers and Ron White on the same campus. Clemson hosted the first annual Literary Festival this past weekend, a three-day event that culminated on the second evening with Eggers coming to the Brooks Center. Actually, if the culmination of a three-day event occurs on the second day, does that mean the third day is a sloppy hangover from the night before? Because I had one Saturday morning.

Don’t do as I do, kids. Do as I say…

I actually checked out a couple of the festival events being held on campus, mostly at the Strom Thurmond institute (that’s the building that seems to have been born out of the side of a hill. His corpse rises every evening to feast on the souls of poor tourists locked in to satisfy his blood lust). They were…sparsely attended. But Eggers came in to a packed house and entertained the crowd for a solid hour and twenty minutes. My “woo” when he mentioned his friend (and my ex-creative writing teacher) John Warner got his attention. That’s two for two in embarrassing myself in the presence of celebrities so far this year.

I did not woo Ron White when he came to Littlejohn Sunday night, mostly because I had trouble seeing if it was really him or just an impersonator in a wig. But I went because my sister wanted to see him, and she may be useful to me in the future. So best to stay on her good side. White was hilarious, he’s definitely the least family-friendly of the Blue Collar guys and the one that (as a proud card-carrying Democrat) I felt comfortable laughing with. Littlejohn was packed, mostly with folks from Walhalla. I’m surprised the Rebel flags were left at home.

I’m already looking forward to next year’s festivities, when Thomas Pynchon and Larry the Cable Guy share the bill. I’ve heard Pynchon has a great stand-up set, and I’m anxious to see if Larry can read.